The Surprising Addiction You Didn’t Know You Had
In my “prior life”, I was running from the minute my alarm went off to the minute I dropped exhausted into bed 19 hours later. I slept little more than 5 hours each night, and I was in a constant state of exhaustion and stress. I often wondered why we love being super busy. Maybe I was addicted to the various stress chemicals that our bodies produce, because I never felt really normal without an extra dose of go-go-go surging through my veins.
Stress is a natural response to challenging situations and can be helpful in small doses. It can help us focus and achieve our goals. However, when stress becomes chronic, it can have serious negative consequences on our physical and mental health.
Why We Love Being Super Busy
One of the reasons why we love being super busy is that it can create a sense of excitement and accomplishment. When we’re busy, our bodies release dopamine, a chemical that creates a sense of pleasure and reward. This dopamine rush can become addictive, leading us to seek out busy schedules even when it’s not necessary.
Ah, being busy. It’s something we wear like a badge of honor, isn’t it? There’s even a term for complaining about being too busy, humblebragging. The busier we are, the more successful we must be. But is that really true? I’ve come to realize that being too busy can actually be hazardous to our health and happiness.
Hazards of Being Busy
Let me explain. When you’re constantly busy, you don’t have time to stop and smell the roses, so to speak. You’re always on the go, always rushing from one thing to the next. You don’t have time to enjoy the little things in life – a beautiful sunset, a good book, a cup of tea with a friend. In fact, you might not even notice something important, like a great opportunity, or worse, an accident in the making. We love being super busy because it takes our mind off of what’s eating at us.
No Time for Fun
And what about your relationships? When you’re too busy, you don’t have time to nurture your relationships. You might cancel plans with friends or family because you have too much on your plate. You might neglect your partner because you’re too exhausted at the end of the day. And over time, those relationships can suffer.
Physical Health
But it’s not just your relationships that are affected. Being too busy can take a toll on your physical and mental health as well. When you’re constantly on the go, you might not make time for exercise or healthy meals. you might rely on fast food or sugary snacks to get through the day. And that can lead to weight gain, low energy levels, and even chronic health problems.
Mental Health
And then there’s your mental health. When you’re too busy, you don’t have time to relax and unwind. You might feel anxious or stressed all the time, which can lead to burnout or even depression. I knew it was time to make a change when I imagined myself driving my car into the center divider of the California freeway. And if you’re not careful, you might turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms like alcohol or drugs (or eating, or shopping) to deal with the stress.
So, why do we love being super busy? What can you do about it? How can you avoid the hazards of being too busy?
Feel the feels
I discovered in coaching that I use busyness as a way to avoid having to feel my feelings. It’s my favorite avoidance tactic. I can easily compartmentalize and put the harsh reality aside to deal with later, much like Scarlet O’Hara, I’ll think about that “tomorrow.” But tomorrow never came and the longer I waited the passionate I’d feel about a situation. The more there was to process and deal with the busier I got until I didn’t even really know how I felt about anything. Here’s something to consider: addiction is a reliable relief from pain. Contrary to popular belief, addiction isn’t the problem, it’s the symptom. In my case, Chaos was the addiction. In order to stop the chaos (or shopping habit, or alcohol problem, sugar binges, fill in the blank) you have to actually deal with the problem. That’s why diets don’t work and rehab often fails. You have to name it, feel it, and process it in your body before you can move on. If you’re someone who doesn’t allow yourself to feel and process emotions, it can be difficult to heal.
Not Everything is a Must Do
Sometimes we become chronically busy because we think we have to do it all. First of all, you need to learn to prioritize. Not everything on your to-do list is equally important. You need to figure out what really matters and focus on that. Maybe that means saying no to some commitments or delegating tasks to others. I keep a running list of things that I want or need to do, adding to it as things come to mind. I even draw little boxes so I can check them off as they are done. There’s something satisfying about checking things off the list. Once a week, I rewrite the list to eliminate the things I’ve completed and to better prioritize the items left to do. I used to organize my list by A, B, and C priority, the last being the things that I’d like to get to. These are rarely checked off, if I’m being honest. I think a lot of people feel that way. In fact, I have a friend who has two categories, MUST DO and everything else.
Time for Healthy Habits
Secondly, you need to make time for self-care. I really don’t like that term. It feels so self-indulgent. I prefer to think of these as healthy habits. This might mean scheduling time for exercise, meditation and prayer, or just some quiet time to read or watch a movie. It might mean taking a mental health day off work when you’re feeling overwhelmed. Whatever it looks like, you need to prioritize your own well-being. If you’d like to read more about developing healthy habits, I wrote about it here.
No is a Complete Sentence
Thirdly, you need to learn to say no. This can be hard, especially if you’re used to saying yes to everything. But saying no is a powerful tool in your arsenal. It allows you to focus on what really matters and avoid taking on too much.
Mind Your Schedule
Lastly, you need to be mindful of your schedule. You need to make sure you’re not overbooking yourself or cramming too much into one day. You need to leave room for rest and relaxation. I have a friend who is always reluctant to add something to her calendar. When I was trying to get her to commit to a date I’d become frustrated and say, “Helen, you have LOTS of open spaces on your calendar. You can fit us in easily on the date that works for the rest of us.” To which she’d invariably respond, “I don’t want to be that busy.” At the time, I didn’t understand and was annoyed by her unwillingness to schedule something that was convenient for the rest of us. Now I respect her for holding her promise to herself and only scheduling a set number of obligations in a week.
The Impact of Mindset
Your mindset can have a powerful impact on how you experience being too busy. Some of us worry that there isn’t enough time. We stress about all the things still to be done and to alleviate the stress we often find even more to do. This is one of the ways that a scarcity mindset rears it’s ugly head. Try practicing the thought that you have all the time you need. If you view busyness as a badge of honor or a sign of productivity, you may actually end up creating more stress for yourself. You may feel pressure to constantly be doing something, and feel guilty or unproductive when you’re not. This can lead to a never-ending cycle of work and stress, which can be harmful to your mental and physical health. Remember this, you do not need to earn rest. You don’t have to make yourself do anything before you allow yourself to do something pleasurable. You don’t have to do your homework before you can go out and play.
Busyness is a Choice
On the other hand, if you view busyness as a choice and focus on the positive aspects of being busy, such as learning new things or helping others, you can turn what might have been harmful stress into a more positive experience. By shifting your mindset, you can reduce feelings of overwhelm and increase feelings of control and purpose.
It’s also important to note that being too busy can impact different people in different ways. Some individuals may thrive on a fast-paced, busy lifestyle (which is who I thought I was until that time on the freeway) while others may find it overwhelming and draining. Understanding your own limits and preferences can help you make choices that are in line with your personal values and goals.
Healthy Habits and Mindset
As noted above, in order to avoid turning busyness into harmful stress, it’s important to prioritize healthy habits and to manage your mindset. Taking breaks throughout the day, engaging in activities that bring you joy, and getting enough sleep and exercise can all help reduce the negative impact of busyness on your wellbeing.
Additionally, you can reframe your thinking around busyness by focusing on your purpose and values, rather than just the amount of work you have to do. By connecting your busyness to something bigger than yourself, such as helping others or pursuing a passion, you can create a sense of meaning and purpose that can help sustain you through challenging times. Why, you may even learn to love being super busy! (Just kidding!)
It’s Just Not Sustainable
Finally, it’s important to remember that being too busy is not a sustainable way of life. At some point, you will need to take a step back and prioritize rest and recovery. By being proactive about managing your busyness and cultivating a positive mindset, you can help ensure that you don’t reach a breaking point before you make necessary changes.
So, that’s my two cents on why we love being super busy. I know it’s something I struggle with, and I’m sure I’m not alone. Being too busy can be hazardous to our health and wellbeing if we let it become harmful stress. By understanding our own limits, managing our mindset, and prioritizing heathy habits, we can turn busyness into a positive experience that aligns with our personal values and goals, and we can avoid the hazards of being busy.
xojd
