What to do When You Just Don’t Want To

We all have responsibilities. Some are urgent, some are important, and some aren’t either of those. A lot of what I do are commitments I make to myself and my family. Those beautiful obligations I’ve written about. I’m an archetypal “rules follower” and if I’ve made a promise, I have a really hard time not doing what I said. It boils down to integrity. Do what you say you’ll do. But what do you do when you just don’t want to?

This morning, I woke up a little later than usual. I’ve also been feeling a lot more tired than usual, these past several days. I’m so tired that I’ve been tempted to nap. I’m not a napper, though. Naps cut into my day, and I wake up super groggy. I worry about what I’ll miss out on while sleeping. So, I simply don’t nap unless I’m sick. Still, today is my writing day, and I’m staring at the computer not at all inspired to write. Which got me thinking about what to do when I’m not feeling like doing whatever it was that I said I would do. When you just don’t want to?

…Do you Call in Sick?

George Carlin was one of my favorite comedians. He was so funny and observant in his comedic writing, and hilarious with his delivery. George certainly wasn’t for everyone because he had rather anti-establishment views, and had no problem discussing politics, religion, and other socially taboo subjects with his acerbic wry wit. He’s been gone for over a decade, but his material still resonates with me. He performed his stand-up until the week before he died of a heart attack, at the age of 71. George Carlin had a one-liner that has stayed with me since high school. He said, “So you work at the suicide hotline, and one day you wake up a little depressed. Do you call in sick?” Good question, right? I don’t know why this is so funny to me, but it is. So, what do you do? Maybe you should call in sick.

We all procrastinate and put things off. Although I’m really good at keeping promises to myself and others, I still haven’t motivated myself enough to exercise regularly. I keep telling myself I will get back to walking once the weather cools off, or I could head to the gym and take my workout indoors. Maybe I will. But the truth is, I just don’t feel like it. The best solution is to change the way I think about it, and just get it done. My thoughts are creating feelings that are getting in the way of the bigger picture, like staying healthy, and keeping my body in great shape as I age. I need to get in touch with my why. (Don’t understand what I’m referring to? The 5 Whys is an exercise in my Vision Guide designed to help you get to what’s important to you.)

Feelings Don’t Matter

People tell me that I’m someone who gets things done, so I can’t let them down, right? Not feeling like doing anything is a rare occurrence. For that reason alone, I should just go with it and let myself have a do-nothing day. But a do-nothing day isn’t on today’s schedule. I could take a do-nothing day tomorrow, just not today. So today I have to do stuff. But I don’t want to do anything on my list. Not. One. Thing.

As you all know by now, I’m a positive thinker. I simply don’t allow myself to wallow in the negative. I’m a firm believer of the “fake it ’til you make it” concept of acting “as if” until I become. Our brains don’t know the difference between mental rehearsal and actual rehearsal, and visualization is a powerful tool. I wrote more about this here: Affirmations – We Are What We Believe. 

Inspiration is for Amateurs

Oliver Burkeman, a British author and journalist, writes about philosophy and the psychology of time management. One of his points is that we don’t have to feel like it. Success will typically come to those who create a work routine and stick with it. That’s basically what I did today. Even though this is my own blog, and I’m my own boss, I’ve made a commitment to write my weekly newsletter and to continue to write articles for my website which has grown to about 75 posts. So, in order to meet this obligation, I need to write.

Even though I didn’t feel like it, and wasn’t inspired to write about anything specific, just the practice of going to my office and writing got me going. I just started writing what was in my head, and the topic became clear. That’s the way it is with creative people. Sit down to create, and your art takes shape. Renowned artist Chuck Close is quoted as saying, “Inspiration is for amateurs. The rest of us just show up and get to work.”

I guess, for me, the solution is to follow Nike’s lead and “just do it”. Every single time I just don’t want to do something, but I do it anyway, I am glad I did. There are so many times when I had worked a long day, and didn’t feel like going to my chorus rehearsal that night. But because I was a front row dancer, and to miss even one rehearsal made me feel like I’m behind, I’d make myself go. Every single time, I felt great afterwards.

Maybe it’s the deep breaths required for singing, or the physical exertion in the dance. Or maybe it’s that singing gets me out of my head. It’s really hard to think about the troubles of the day when you’re mentally engaged in something creative. Maybe it’s all of these things.

The Science Behind Motivation

What’s actually happening in our brains when we don’t feel like doing something? Neuroscience gives us some interesting insights. When we’re faced with a task we’re resistant to, our brain’s limbic system—the emotional part responsible for the fight-or-flight response—activates. It’s trying to protect us from the discomfort or potential failure associated with the task. Meanwhile, our prefrontal cortex—the rational, planning part of our brain—is trying to keep us on track with our goals and commitments.

This inner conflict creates that uncomfortable feeling of resistance. Understanding this battle can help us develop strategies to overcome it. By acknowledging the resistance as a natural response rather than a character flaw, we can move past it more effectively.

Research shows that motivation isn’t something we should wait for—it often follows action rather than preceding it. In a groundbreaking study on motivation, researchers found that the act of starting a task, even with reluctance, triggered a cascade of neurotransmitters that actually created motivation. This “motivation momentum” grows stronger the longer we stick with the task.

The Myth of Perfect Conditions

Many of us fall into the trap of waiting for perfect conditions before we begin. “I’ll start writing when I feel inspired.” “Maybe I’ll begin that project when I have more energy.” “I’ll tackle that task when I have a completely clear day.” But perfect conditions rarely materialize, and waiting for them becomes another form of procrastination.

I’ve learned this lesson repeatedly in my own life. Some of my best work has emerged from days when I felt least prepared or motivated. That article I wrote while fighting a cold turned out to be one of my most-shared pieces. The presentation I gave after a sleepless night received the most positive feedback.

This isn’t to glorify overwork or pushing through legitimate needs for rest, but rather to recognize that our perception of “readiness” is often flawed. We’re capable of much more than we give ourselves credit for, even on our off days. And the truth us, sometimes we drum up lots of reasons when the truth is that we just don’t want to.

Actionable Steps for When Motivation Fails You

So, what concrete strategies can you employ when you’re facing that wall of resistance? Here are some practical approaches that have worked for me and for many others I’ve coached through motivational slumps:

1. The Five-Minute Commitment

When a task feels overwhelming, commit to just five minutes of work on it. That’s it—just five minutes. This tiny commitment bypasses your brain’s resistance because it seems manageable. Once you’ve started, the hardest part is over, and you’ll often find yourself continuing well beyond those initial five minutes.

I use this technique regularly with writing. “I’ll just write one paragraph,” I tell myself. Before I know it, I’ve written several pages. The key is making that initial commitment small enough that your brain doesn’t put up a fight.

2. Create Environmental Triggers

Our environment powerfully influences our behavior. Create specific environmental cues that signal to your brain it’s time to work. This might be:

• A dedicated workspace that you only use for focused work
• A specific playlist that you only listen to during certain tasks
• A pre-work ritual, like brewing a specific tea or arranging your materials
• Wearing particular clothes that you associate with productivity

I have a specific focus blend that I diffuse when I’m writing something important. The simple act of filling the diffuser has become a trigger that helps my brain transition into writing mode, regardless of my initial motivation level. Fragrance is a powerful tool for evoking memories and impacting mood.

3. The Body-Mind Connection

Sometimes motivation starts with the body, not the mind. Physical movement can break through mental resistance. Before tackling a challenging task:

• Do 10 jumping jacks
• Take a brisk 5-minute walk
• Stretch for 3 minutes
• Dance to an upbeat song

These quick physical activities increase blood flow to the brain and trigger the release of endorphins, creating more favorable conditions for focus and motivation.

4. The Accountability Advantage

External accountability can be a powerful motivator when internal motivation is low. Try:

• Telling someone specific about your intention to complete a task
• Working alongside a colleague or friend (even virtually)
• Using a time-tracking app that records your work sessions
• Scheduling a check-in call for shortly after your task should be completed

I belong to an accountability group of entrepreneurs where we check in weekly with our goals. Knowing I’ll need to report my progress to the group often gives me the extra push I need to follow through, even when motivation is lacking.

5. Reward Layering

Create a system of cascading rewards for progress:

• Micro-rewards for starting (like a favorite snack after 15 minutes of work)
• Mid-point rewards for sustained effort (perhaps a short walk or social media break)
• Completion rewards that are meaningful to you (dinner at a favorite restaurant, guilt-free leisure time)

The key is to make the rewards proportional to the effort and to truly enjoy them rather than rushing through to the next task.

6. The Visualization Technique

Take two minutes to vividly imagine how you’ll feel after completing the task. Not just “relieved,” but the detailed sensory experience of completion:

• How your body will feel (perhaps lighter, more relaxed)
• What you’ll say to yourself
• The pride or satisfaction you’ll experience
• The concrete benefits that will result from completion

This creates a compelling “future memory” that can pull you through present resistance.

7. The Task Breakdown Method

Often, resistance comes from the amorphous nature of a task. “Write report” feels overwhelming, but “create outline,” “write introduction,” and “compile data for section 1” feel manageable.

Break your task into the smallest possible components and focus only on the next tiny step. Each completed mini-task creates a small win that builds momentum.

8. The Permission Pause

Sometimes resistance is your mind’s way of telling you something important. Give yourself permission to pause and reflect:

• Is this task actually necessary?
• Is it aligned with your true priorities?
• Are you the right person to be doing it?
• Is this the right time?

Sometimes the wisest choice is to delegate, defer, or delete the task altogether. The key is making this a conscious choice rather than a default reaction to discomfort.

Keep Promises to Yourself

Keeping your word to yourself builds integrity and self-reliance. But more than that, you might find that the best ideas come when you don’t put restrictions on your creations. I simply started writing because I promised myself, I’d write. Getting started and simply typing in “stream of consciousness” led to this post. When I sat down to write this article, I had no idea where it would end up. But I kind of like it, and I hope you do too.

The strategies I’ve shared aren’t about forcing yourself through misery, they’re about reducing friction and creating conditions where forward movement becomes easier. They acknowledge that motivation is fleeting for everyone, but progress doesn’t have to be.

Remember that consistency trumps intensity. The person who shows up consistently, even with minimal effort on tough days, will ultimately outperform the person who works intensely but only when inspiration strikes.

Building this kind of resilience—the ability to move forward even when you don’t feel like it—might be one of the most valuable skills you can develop. It’s not about ignoring your feelings or pushing through burnout; it’s about developing a more sophisticated relationship with motivation that acknowledges its fluctuating nature.

So, the next time you find yourself staring at your to-do list with complete resistance, remember: you’re not alone, it’s not a character flaw, and you have tools to work through it. Choose one of these strategies, take that first small step, and watch as resistance gradually gives way to progress.

What do you do to get yourself going when you just don’t want to? Comment below and let me know.