Pushing 60 & Aging Gracefully

I’m pushing 60 and aging gracefully.  I’ve been reflecting on the experience of aging since the day I turned 30.  I was not afraid of that age. Didn’t suffer any depression or take to my room for the day. I was all for aging gracefully.  In fact, I was excited to turn 30.  That was the age that had always meant “adulthood” to me.  It was my measuring stick.  I was finally credible. 

Maybe as a professional, this resonates with you.  It was hard being a 20-something woman in a male dominated industry, especially one where the dress-code required women to wear skirts and dresses.  Turning 30 would be the age where people wouldn’t only see the young chic with the long legs.  I honed my sure-shot wit during those younger years as a measure of self-defense.  “Hey buddy, my eyes are up here”.

It didn’t matter that I had been married for 8 years, was raising two kids, and had purchased two homes. It took turning 30 to feel as though I had arrived.  People could no longer hold my youth against me.  In my mind, I had finally paid my dues, with interest. 

Aging gracefully became my badge of courage.  More and more women that I knew started having a little “work” done to slow the hands of time.  I was never going to have surgery, or anything done to look younger.  Being youthful was not an asset. 

Then one day it occurred to me that some women shaved a few years off their age.  This was incredulous to me, as I had been one of those club-hoppers with a fake ID so I could disco the night away in the months before I turned 21.  But to try and “pass” for younger?  Never! 

In 1994, I was inspired by an article in the now defunct Women’s Day magazine, written by Gloria Steinem, entitled “Doing Sixty”.  As a side note, I have kept a file in my desk labeled “Attitude Adjustment” since the early 80’s.  It’s where I go for inspiration when the world is getting me down, or I feel “blocked”.  The file is filled with articles, comics, notes, and artwork that inspire me.  When setting up my new office, I found the file, and it was this Gloria Steinem article.  She has expanded on it in a book entitled, Doing 60 and 70. It’s on my Wishlist at Amazon.  (This is not an affiliate link.)

I reread the article, and was even more inspired today, as I’m pushing 60. From the day I tore this article out of my magazine in 1994 to today, there hasn’t been any change in our culture’s attitudes about aging. We still cover what we don’t want others to see.  We’ve just gotten better at it with nips and tucks, lotions and potions.

It’s funny that I never saw hair color as a youth enhancement.  I had been lightening my hair since I was a tween.  My once light blonde hair was darkening, and I didn’t want to be a brunette.  I was a beach girl and wanted beach-blonde hair.  So, I started combing Sun-In through my wet hair at the beach to keep the light streaks in my hair.  As early as 12, I was artificially extending the color of my baby blonde hair.

For the last decade, I’ve felt pretty much invisible on the street, in restaurants, in advertising, in malls. It inspired me to write the post about being relevant over 50.  You can read that here.  I used to chalk it up to my feelings of losing my looks. I’ve read that aging can be hard for women who used to be noticed for their appearance.  I think the slow decline of my eyesight has been a blessing in disguise, as I’m seeing a lovely soft focus of me in the mirror.  I’m not noticing the fine lines and age spots unless I use a magnifying mirror.  Then on those infrequent times when I need to bring things in clearly, what a rude awakening! It’s quite humbling, although I do kind of like my freckles.

This entire topic has been very close to me right now because I have so many friends who find themselves suddenly unemployed in their late 40’s, 50’s, and 60’s.  The age of invisibility.  There is no denying there is a youth bias with which women of a certain age must contend.  But some of this really is within our individual control. 

Here are some thoughts that come to mind:

1.  Do whatever makes you feel great about yourself.  If you want to color your hair, do it.  If you want to let your grey grow out or shine through.  Do it!  I knew a kid who had a grey streak in Junior High. It’s genetic. People’s hair changes at different ages and is not a sign that you’re old.  If you like to wear false eyelashes, or make-up, or no makeup at all, do that.  Do you!
2. You’re as young as you feel.  Seriously.  I know this is an old cliché, but it is a good one.  If you feel like you can rock a short skirt, rock it! If you are fit enough to run a marathon, run it!  Do not limit yourself by someone else’s influence.  Don’t limit yourself.
3. Use it or lose it.  Sometimes it’s hard, it hurts, you’re tired.  I get it, me too.  But if you don’t continue to do what you have always done with ease, you will eventually be unable, and it will take you a long time to get back to it.  That’s why injuries are so hard to come back from, and it feels like you must fight your way back.  So, if you can touch your toes with straight legs, do toe-touches every single day.  Flexibility will keep you from being injured in a fall.  Stand on one foot while doing dishes to keep your balance up and keep the fine muscles in your feet and ankles strong.  Take long walks. If you don’t continue to walk, then you won’t have the endurance when you want to go with your grandkids to Disneyland.  Do cartwheels if you can. They’re fun! Carry that bag of cat litter into the house.  Whatever you are still able to do and want to be able to do into your 90’s, keep doing it!  And then I probably should mention here that I am not a medical expert, so if there is some reason you should not, then please listen to your doctor.
4. In a professional setting, you do not have to disclose your age. It’s illegal for them to ask.  Do not put your age or any dates on your resume.  You don’t have to, and they don’t need to know.  Do not list every job you’ve ever had or have had in the last 10 years.  Just list the longest employment and/or those that are relevant to the job you want.  Highlight your relevant experience from the most recent projects in the field you are seeking. Have a different resume for each different field, each with different applicable skills, if necessary.  Always play to your strengths. Wear whatever professional outfit makes you feel in charge.
5. Keep your teeth in great shape.  I know this seems random, but your teeth can age you more than any other feature.  People notice your smile first.  So, whiten your teeth.  Don’t miss those check-ups.  Gum health is paramount to avoiding tooth loss.  In fact, dental health is critical to overall physical health.  Therefore, if you’re going to spend your money anywhere, spend it on your teeth.  You want to be able to eat anything and have a winning smile forever.
6. Keep your brain engaged.  Keep up with the latest technology, especially if you are still in the job market.  You must know how to use online tools and be willing to learn.  There are YouTube videos for learning pretty much anything. Leverage your resources.

Along the path to aging gracefully you should lean on your tribe.  We’re here to cheer you on, teach you how, prop you up, help you out.  We’ve got your back.  Aging is inevitable, but you don’t have to go it alone.