Finding Positive Focus in Life’s Hard Times

January can often feel like a whirlwind—full of fresh starts, new resolutions, and all the inevitable challenges that come with beginning a new year. In our family, and in the world, it’s been an eventful start to the year. Unfortunately, not all of those events have been positive. Wildfires, political tensions, health scares, insurance changes, and a whole lot of uncertainty have made it feel overwhelming at times. And let’s be honest: sometimes the idea of maintaining a “positive focus” can feel downright insincere when life throws so much at us.

But here’s the thing: this is when we need positive focus the most.

I’m not saying we should ignore what’s happening in our lives or the world around us. On the contrary, it’s essential to process our emotions and face our realities. What I am suggesting is that we can learn to process our feelings in a way that allows us to see the good, even in the hard times. By identifying what we can control, managing those things, and working through our emotions for the rest, we can find a sense of peace and clarity.

Understanding and Processing Emotions

When emotions run high, it’s easy to feel consumed by anger, sadness, or fear. But every emotion starts with a thought. When I feel angry, for example, I’ve learned to pause and really identify what’s causing that anger. Am I upset because of a specific situation, or is there a thought bubbling up that’s feeding this emotion? By identifying the root cause, I can choose how to respond rather than simply reacting in the heat of the moment.

This process takes practice, but it’s incredibly empowering. Instead of being at the mercy of our emotions, we become active participants in how we navigate them. A big part of this is letting go of the shame or guilt we might feel for having emotions in the first place. It’s okay to feel angry. It’s okay to feel sad. What matters is how we process those emotions and move forward.

The Power of a List

When I was a kid, I used to get overwhelmed by homework, chores, and everything else I thought was closing in on me. My mom had a brilliant solution: she’d have me write down everything that was worrying me or that I needed to do. This simple act of putting pen to paper would instantly calm me down. By seeing my tasks laid out in front of me, I could prioritize and tackle them one at a time.

Today, I’m still a list maker. I write down my to-dos and even add little boxes to check off each item. There’s something so satisfying about checking off those boxes! When life feels overwhelming, creating a list is an excellent reality check. It reminds me that things aren’t as bad as they seem when they’re just swirling around in my head. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, give it a try. Write down everything that’s weighing on you, prioritize the list, and take it one step at a time.

Shifting Focus: A Dance Story

Earlier this month, I had a dance “audition” of sorts. It’s been years since I’ve done anything like this, and as the day approached, I found myself filled with doubt. Thoughts like, “I’m too old,” “I’m too out of shape,” and “They won’t want someone like me” kept popping into my head. I even considered not going at all. But then, I remembered something important: I get to decide how I want to feel.

I decided that I wanted to have fun. Instead of focusing on the outcome, I focused on the experience. I wanted to enjoy the process, regardless of whether or not I made the cut. So, I put on my best compression leggings, took some ibuprofen for my injured knee, and showed up. And you know what? It was a blast. I even surprised myself with how much I could still do.

This experience reminded me of an important lesson: how we show up and the attitude we bring with us can make all the difference. Life isn’t about being perfect; it’s about showing up authentically and giving your best.

Feeling Without Judging

One of the most critical aspects of maintaining positive focus is learning to feel our emotions without judging them. All too often, we’re quick to label emotions as “good” or “bad.” But emotions are just information. They’re a natural response to what’s happening in our lives.

When we shame ourselves for feeling a certain way or try to shove our emotions down, we’re doing ourselves a disservice. Ignored emotions don’t disappear; they manifest in other ways—like unhealthy coping mechanisms, anxiety, or even depression. Instead, try this approach: when an emotion arises, acknowledge it. Invite it into the moment. Feel it fully. Then, let it go.

This process might feel uncomfortable at first, but the more you practice, the easier it becomes. Over time, you’ll find that emotions pass more quickly when you allow yourself to feel them without resistance or judgment.

What Positive Focus Really Means

Positive focus isn’t about ignoring reality or pretending that everything is perfect. It’s about starting with reality and choosing to see the good, even in difficult situations. It’s about controlling what you can control, working through your emotions in a healthy way, and practicing habits that support your well-being.

In hard times, positive focus can be as simple as:

• Pausing to take a deep breath when you’re feeling overwhelmed.
• Writing down three things you’re grateful for each day.
• Reaching out to a friend for support or connection.
• Taking a walk outside to clear your mind.
• Celebrating small victories, no matter how insignificant they might seem.

The goal isn’t to be happy all the time. It’s to build resilience and cultivate a mindset that allows you to navigate life’s ups and downs with grace and courage.

Rewriting Your Life Story

Life doesn’t always look like the story we imagined for ourselves. But that doesn’t mean we can’t rewrite the narrative. Your work is to become aware of your expectations, manage them, and take intentional steps toward creating a life that aligns with your wildest dreams.

Start small. Identify one area of your life where you’d like to see change, and take one actionable step toward that change today. Maybe it’s setting boundaries, prioritizing self-care, or pursuing a long-forgotten passion. Whatever it is, remember that you are braver and more capable than you realize.

The journey won’t always be easy, but every step you take brings you closer to the life you want. And along the way, you’ll learn self-acceptance—the greatest gift you can give yourself.

Final Thoughts

Positive focus isn’t about denying the hard parts of life. It’s about acknowledging them, processing your emotions, and choosing to show up as your best self anyway. It’s about finding light in the darkness and courage in the face of uncertainty. It’s about being intentional. If you’d like to learn more about intentions, check out my article on Happiness, Choice, and Setting Intentions.

As you move through this year, remember to give yourself grace. Celebrate your progress, no matter how small. And never forget how brave you are for continuing to show up in a story that looks so different from what you thought it would be.

You’ve got this.