Affirmations – We Are What We Believe
I am blessed with a confident, positive attitude. I’m not sure why this is so, but I know that we are what we believe. I wake up happy each morning, and I am grateful for the many blessings in my life. One of the things I say a lot is, “I’m a very lucky girl.” Because of this positive attitude, I believe I can do anything that I set my mind to. I’m smart, and my actions bring great results. These are very strong affirmations. If you’d like more, I’ve created a free pdf of affirmations for you in the link below.
Positive thinking can help you imagine your best life. Although it’s a habit with me, I don’t really need to tell myself these things because I know them to be true. But this wasn’t always the case.
Moody Teen Years
My mid teens through early twenties were tumultuous and self-destructive periods. I made a lot of very bad choices, and my mental health suffered a great deal as a result. An astute observer might say that my mental health is what got me into those jams, to start with. There was evidence of depression that went unnoticed. I was good at “covering”.
Depression wasn’t a thing back then, so who would have even known to look? I had been the “good girl”, had good grades, didn’t date until I was 16. Had a few very close friendships, was involved in music and dance. From the outside looking in, I had everything going for me. But there were pretty big cries for help.
Idle Hands Are the Devil’s Tools – Chaucer
During the summer, I’d get up, put my bathing suit on and head straight to the beach. I’d stay there until the fog started rolling in, around 3:30 p.m., then I’d walk back home. Those 7 or 8 hours that I was gone each day provided a lot of time to get in “trouble”. I started smoking cigarettes and pot, and I drank with random people I met on the beach. (Sorry Mom and Dad.)
There wasn’t any one friend that I hung out with because my few friends were in summer school. I didn’t need to take summer school, so I went to the beach alone. I’ve always been a bit of a loner. I’d come home, do my chores, and practice my piano until time to help with dinner. During these years, I was a very sad girl.
I think Mom got wise because once I turned 14, she started bringing me to work with her during school breaks. She worked for a veterinarian, and I loved animals. So I learned a lot about back-office animal care, as well as front office skills. By the time I turned 16, I was added to the payroll. Working part-time on weekends during the school year, and full-time during the summers probably corrected the trajectory of my life.
The Disappearing Act
Then, at nineteen, I ran away in the middle of the night and married a magician. Yes, a magician. In Las Vegas. I had never been out past midnight, but here I was at the justice of the peace at 4am, getting married to someone I had known for only three weeks. Oh, and I was drunk, but not too drunk to remember that I drove us to the courthouse in my Fiat X19, with my best friend on his lap.
It’s a great story, best told over martinis. This set off a series of frightening events that lasted until I was married to the father of my children, three years later. As I look back on this dark period of my life, there was one very clear marker that stands out. The belief that bad things happen to me. I didn’t yet understand that I was the thing that kept happening to me! It’s seriously a miracle that I’m still alive and a functional human.
My Career Saved Me
I spent the next 25 years working on my attitude, and I got healthy. I got a good job with a company that rewarded hard work and motivation over tenure, and I was able to move up quickly. Two very important mentors came into my life, one professional and one personal. Through these people, I learned a lot about leadership, myself and about how my actions created my reality.
Now, I’m not talking all new age, here. It’s a scientific fact that what we believe affects our brains, and our chemistry. Sometimes traumatic events, or even sustained stress, will send our chemistry into a spin, and we’ll end up clinically depressed. Of course, this is an oversimplification of our physiology, and I’m certainly not qualified to expound on any of it. But from my layman’s view, there is enough evidence to convince me that our brains believe what we tell it.
Attitude Adjustment
Psychology and mental health have always fascinated me, and I credit many different self-help books for my sanity. In fact, I wrote about developing resilience in this blog post. Resilience is closely related to today’s topic; We are what we believe. Resilient people believe they can get through hard things, so catastrophic events don’t completely devastate them.
Being able to get through hard things is the extreme side of what I’m talking about here, though. I’m referring to regular old positive attitude. Having a generally sunny disposition. People naturally gravitate towards people who smile and look friendly. There are all kinds of studies that point to the success of happy people, and friendly people, and even good-looking people because they are perceived to be nicer than those less physically appealing. Seriously, look it up!
Magical Thinking
I recently came across an article in Forbes Magazine that was written by Amy Morin, a psychotherapist. She wrote, “Creating a more positive outlook can lead to better outcomes. That’s not to say positive thoughts have magical powers. But optimistic thoughts lead to productive behavior, which increases your chances of a successful outcome.” I had to laugh when I read this because I really have been accused of “magical thinking”.
It doesn’t hurt to believe the best will happen. I’ve got a 50-50 chance of being right. I’m a glass half full girl. In fact, I’m always excited when I still have that much left. Try it, it works! Simply smiling makes you feel better, and a fake smile still produces the same chemical response.
Look For the Helpers
In order to change your attitude, you have to change your beliefs. You can’t just wish it so. You have to look for evidence of good things that have happened in your life. Like Mr. Rogers’ mom would tell him when he saw scary things on the new, “Look for the helpers.” If you look for even small positive things in your life, you can believe there is good. This is where positive affirmations come in. There’s a great article in psychology today that talks about affirming good in your life in order to change your mindset.
Own Your Stuff
I highly recommend you watch this TEDx talk, The secret to becoming mentally strong, by Amy Morin. She reminds us that we control our attitudes and how we respond to what happens to us. We’ve all heard it before, and I believe it to be true. I love how she points out that we are giving away our power when we complain about things beyond our control.
We are in control of our attitudes. Don’t put your feelings on someone or something else. You’re giving away your power. I used to tell managers that I coached that they were abdicating their responsibility whenever they would use excuses, or blame, to justify mistakes.
Mental Rehearsal
One of my favorite true stories is about Liu Chi Kun, a Chinese pianist. I remember reading that he had come in second at the Van Cliburn piano competition, and then disappeared. He was imprisoned during the cultural revolution. While in prison, he was denied use of any musical instruments, yet after he was released, he embarked on a world tour.
When asked how he could still play as well since he hadn’t been able to practice for so long, he replied that he did practice. He mentally rehearsed every piece in his head every single day. Our minds don’t know the difference between mental rehearsal and the real thing. Our bodies may need to practice in order to maintain our physical agility, but our minds can do miraculous things.
Miracles Do Happen
One day when I was stuck in Los Angeles traffic, I heard an interview with the lead Rabbi in LA. This wasn’t a religious station, but there he was. The interview was probably 15 years ago, but I still remember his response. He was asked if miracles still exist today. He responded that miracles happen around us all the time, and the sad thing is that people either deny their existence, or fail to see them at all.
This really resonated with me because, well, as you’ve already read, I tend toward magical thinking. I have great faith. I know that God loves us and wants us to be happy. But even if you are not someone who believes in a higher power, you can still believe that good things are going to happen in your life and in the lives of those around you. Your beliefs are a choice. Just look for the evidence of good things in your life, for proof.
Dispel Limiting Beliefs
Limiting beliefs is all that stands between you and your best life. So, start changing those beliefs by looking for evidence of good things in your life. Try practicing gratitude for all you do have. You can reshape your attitudes with positive thinking.
Affirmations are a great way to redirect our thoughts. Our brains believe what we tell them. So be sure you fill your brains and hearts with positive thoughts and look for evidence of success in your lives to follow. To help you get started, we’ve created a free pdf of affirmations. You can grab them in the sidebar.
