Advocating for Your Healthcare: Take Control and Get the Care You Deserve
I’ve been slaying dragons this week—and not just any dragons, but fire-breathing, gatekeeping, condescending dragons. All I’m trying to do is help my mom get to the castle with enough air to walk up those stately steps, and it feels like everyone is against us.
Here’s the thing: The medical community is quick to tell you what you can’t do, but nobody seems to be helping us figure out what we can do. And let’s talk about the way they speak to older adults—like they’re five years old! Have you noticed this? My mom is as sharp as a tack, but some medical assistants act as if she’s suddenly lost the ability to think for herself. I saw the same thing happen with my grandmother, and it infuriates me. Just because someone is physically more fragile doesn’t mean they’re incapable of making decisions about their own care. This has to stop.
And it’s not just about aging parents—this problem stretches across the board. A friend of mine in her early 60s has had a cyst that requires monitoring with a mammogram every six months. Each time, they immediately send her for an ultrasound as well. Today, she made an informed choice: skip the painful, redundant mammogram and go straight to the ultrasound. If she needed further imaging, she was even willing to pay out of pocket for an MRI. Seems logical, right? But because she didn’t follow the “protocol” established by the medical office, she got a browbeating from the radiologist. The difference? She stood her ground. She knew what she wanted, she advocated for it, and she left with good news—on her terms.
The Healthcare System Is Broken, But You Don’t Have to Be
We live in a world where convenience for the system takes precedence over patient needs. Medical offices and insurance companies design protocols that serve their bottom line, not necessarily your well-being. If you don’t fit into their standard procedure, they’ll try to make you feel like you’re being difficult.
But here’s the truth: You have the right to advocate for yourself. You deserve care that aligns with your body, your needs, and your informed choices. And no one—not a doctor, a technician, or an insurance adjuster—gets to dictate your health choices without your input.
Why Advocacy Matters More Than Ever
With an aging population, rising healthcare costs, and a system often more focused on efficiency than individual needs, advocacy is more crucial than ever. Medical professionals are overworked, insurance companies prioritize profits, and hospitals run like businesses. In this environment, if you don’t speak up for yourself, no one else will.
Consider how many people blindly follow medical advice because they assume doctors always know best. While medical professionals have valuable expertise, they don’t always have time to consider every patient’s unique circumstances. That’s where you come in. Being an active participant in your healthcare decisions ensures you receive care that truly serves you.
Mindset Shifts for Advocating Your Care
If you’re struggling to navigate the healthcare system (or any system that tries to put you in a one-size-fits-all box), here are some mindset shifts to help you stand your ground:
1. You Have a Right to Be Heard
Doctors, nurses, and medical assistants are there to serve you. If someone talks down to you, remind yourself that you deserve respect. Hold your head high and make your requests with confidence.
Try this: The next time a medical professional dismisses your concerns, respond with, “I hear what you’re saying, but I want to understand all my options before making a decision.”
2. Knowledge is Power
You wouldn’t buy a car without researching its safety features, fuel efficiency, and long-term reliability. Your body deserves the same consideration! Before any appointment, do your homework.
Action step: Google your symptoms, research treatments, and read medical journals or patient forums so you walk into the office prepared.
3. You Are Not a Burden
Many people, especially women and older adults, hesitate to push back against doctors because they don’t want to be seen as “difficult.” But advocating for yourself isn’t being difficult—it’s being smart.
Mindset shift: Instead of thinking, I don’t want to be a bother, remind yourself, I am paying for this service. I deserve to be taken seriously.
4. Their Policies Are for Their Convenience, Not Yours
Many healthcare policies exist to streamline office workflow, not to ensure you get the best care. If something doesn’t serve you, challenge it.
Example: A provider insists you need a procedure you don’t want? Ask, “Can you explain why this is necessary for my case?”
5. You Are in Control
At the end of the day, it’s your body, your health, and your decision. No one can force you into a path that doesn’t feel right.
Empower yourself: If something feels off, get a second opinion. If a doctor won’t listen, find one who will.
Action Steps for Advocating Your Care
Now that you’ve got the right mindset, let’s break it down into actionable steps:
1. Prepare Your Questions
Before any appointment, write down what you need to know so you don’t get sidetracked or intimidated.
2. Practice Your Responses
If you anticipate pushback, rehearse how you’ll calmly and firmly assert yourself. You don’t need to argue—just be clear and unwavering.
3. Bring a Support Person
Having an advocate with you can add weight to your requests. If a doctor tries to dismiss your concerns, a second voice can reinforce your position.
4. Be Willing to Walk Away
If a provider isn’t listening to you, find one who will. There are compassionate, patient-centered doctors out there—you just have to be willing to seek them out.
5. Get Everything in Writing
If you’re dealing with insurance, medical recommendations, or treatment plans, ask for documentation. This ensures clarity and gives you leverage if you need to challenge a decision later.
6. Understand Your Insurance (or Lack of It)
If you have insurance, learn what it covers and what it doesn’t. If you’re uninsured, research cash-pay discounts, community clinics, and alternative providers. Sometimes, paying out of pocket can be more affordable than dealing with the insurance maze.
The Future of Healthcare Advocacy
This isn’t just about our individual experiences—it’s about shifting the entire culture of healthcare. We need to demand better treatment, not just for ourselves, but for future generations.
The more people advocate for themselves, the more the system will have to change. We need to normalize questioning doctors, asking for alternative treatments, and demanding respect.
Imagine a world where patients are seen as partners in their healthcare, where older adults are respected for their wisdom rather than dismissed, and where medical decisions are truly collaborative. That world starts with each of us refusing to be passive participants in our own well-being.
So, let’s keep slaying those dragons. The healthcare system may be broken, but we don’t have to be.
Have you ever had to advocate for yourself in a medical setting? Share your experience in the comments—I’d love to hear how you navigated the system and what worked for you!
